Apprehension

I haven’t written anything that I’ve felt was worthy of my time to write or your time to read since September 7th. I blame the angst I’ve felt toward many things. I’m tired of COVID, of wearing a mask, of being ridicules when I walk into a store because I forgot my mask. I’m tired of the news, of politics and of the election coverage.

Saturday there was a shooting in Lockport, NY that took the life of a bright young lady and sent several others to the hospital for treatment. Today there was a brazen gunfight in the streets of the same neighborhood. Niagara Falls has seen an uptick in violence having twelve murders so far this year. Neighboring Buffalo has seen a similar increase. A similar increase in calls to Crisis Services in the community within the last couple of months has also been seen. I live in the present, in the here and now but even this has become difficult.

Exercise and reading have been my escape. I made it up to the Adirondacks for a long weekend. The weather was beautiful and was probably the last time I’ll wear shorts comfortably this year. Fall has firmly taken hold and in two weeks we’ll move the clocks back and lose another hour of daylight.

When weather permits I’ll sneak a few minutes on the front porch. Enough for a quick recharge of my batteries. It still amazes me how my mood improves when I can see the sun. Today was not one of those days. Dark skies, non-stop rain, low hanging gray clouds and spending time at a local school as part of a crisis team helping students manage their grief related to Saturday’s shooting.

Tomorrow is another day. Another day that will bring more of the same. The same will only cause pain if I choose to respond to it the same way.

I have the tools and I use them. There are days that I just need to work a little harder to make sure I win the battle.

Seneca said, “True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied, for he that is wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not”

4 thoughts on “Apprehension

  1. “I’m tired of COVID, of wearing a mask, of being ridiculed when I walk into a store because I forgot my mask. I’m tired of the news, of politics and of the election coverage.”

    Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes!

    These days, (and always, actually) the best antidote is getting out into nature, finding some peaceful solitude, and remembering the advice of past sages to live in the present.

    Namaste, Chris. May peace and contentment find you — and all of us — living in the world today.

    1. Thank you Judi. My Kindle, cigars and nature are always my go tos.

  2. Queen of the Fairy Folk October 20, 2020 — 10:45 PM

    Disentangling ourselves from this madness is challenge; a necessary and arduous task. It’s not without irony that Nature has become a respite to many who willfully neglected her. One can only hope that the gift of this tumult is a return to sanity.

    1. Agreed. Outside magazine just published an article about nature asking if it was getting louder during the pandemic or are we simply listening more.

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