This summer, August 28th to be exact, I turn fifty. Fifty years old!
It feels strange to say in the same way it felt strange to say “I’m turning thirty” or “I’m turning forty.” I’m still trying to figure out where fifty years has gone. I feel as though the time has raced by with little acknowledgement.
I have been told “You’re only as old as you feel.” I don’t feel old but not feeling old does nothing to stop the days from passing. Inevitably I am turning older.
My dad turns seventy-five this year. As the turn of the year arrived, I began to think about his age and my age. In twenty-five years I’ll be the age he is. I began to think about how fast fifty years has expired and bean to think about how the next twenty-five will expire. I began to think about where I am in my life and where I want to go. I began to take stock in my life. I began to clean out the clutter and have begun to move toward a more minimalist, more meaningful life. I have removed relationships which are not beneficial to my emotional health. i have removed possessions which i thought would bring happiness but instead have added stress.
I don’t want to waste the rest of my life, however long that may be.
There are a number of things I would do over but since this is not possible, I don’t dwell in that arena. Instead I focus my thoughts, my energy, my life on making the next twenty-five years more meaningful than the first fifty.
I am lucky, although I am not sure how much of a role luck has played in my life. I have put in a great deal of effort to be a better person; a better husband, father, friend, social worker, etc. For the most part I am happy with my life and with what i have achieved. When I honestly think about the future, I think about building on the successes I have experienced.