One month ago I was diagnosed with a groin muscle tear. This means no running for the next 3-4 weeks, minimally.
Last night I returned home from work. I sat briefly in my car and watched the last rays of sunshine slip below the horizon. As the darkness began to envelope the car I settled back into the seat and closed my eyes. I wished for a minute I had listened to my body when it first began to let me know it was not feeling well. I slowly dismissed this thought because “what’s done is done.” Before I exited my car I began to realize and understand the important role running plays in my life. I meditate several times each week and this I find helpful, but as Sebastian Coe once said, There is nothing better for the body and the soul than “frequent and violent agitation of the body.”
I have had the last week to reflect on the hole left in my life from the absence of running. My meditation, belief in the concept of impermanence and understanding of the role Karma plays in my life have all been instrumental tools in the management of my mood this past week. I have actually felt “OK” about not running. I have allowed myself to “let go” of the attachment which I felt toward running and not running.
As I sat in my car, eyes closed I reflected on my last run. I saw my sloppy form, my monkey mind and now realize this was my body speaking to me; telling me I should have stayed in bed and not run. This decision was made and now I must pay the consequences. Rather than turning this sadness and hurt inward and becoming angry with myself, I will instead use this experience as I would a training run and learn from it. I now have more time to write, reflecting on my life as it is. i have more time to improve my meditation practice and enrich my relationship with my daughter. Marissa and I have begun to investigate a local yoga studio and have signed up for a couple of classes. I will not let this injury keep me down!
As I drive to work in the morning and occasionally on the return trip, my eye catches a figure slowly making his/her way toward me. I look more closely and identify this person as another runner. A person, who for the minute has listened to their body and has been allowed the pleasure of continuing their daily pursuit of happiness. For a moment I am lost in thought. As this fellow runner leaves my line of sight the thought, the reminder, that I cannot run, slowly leaves me.
I began writing this post within days of my injury. I am happy to say I have been able to return to a modified exercise regime. I have spent time on the bike as well as the elliptical. Running may be another few weeks into the future and with that I am alright.